Inventing Myself Instead of Finding Myself

I’ve been sitting with this idea of “discovering yourself.” You hear it all the time—go out into the world, take time to find yourself, and you’ll magically uncover who you’re meant to be. But honestly? That never really made sense to me.

I don’t think I’m someone waiting to be “found.” There’s no hidden version of me just sitting there, fully formed, waiting for me to stumble upon it. Instead, I connect more with the idea of inventing myself—using my imagination, trying new things, and mixing together ideas that might not seem to fit, just to see what happens.

The idea of discovery feels passive, like I should be wandering through life hoping something clicks. But invention? That feels more like something I can take part in. It means I can keep building, pivoting, and figuring things out as I go. It means giving myself permission to try, mess up (a lot), and change direction without feeling like I’m somehow doing it all wrong.

And that’s exactly what I’ve been doing these past few years—reinventing myself, piece by piece.

When I lost so much of what I had built—my career, my business, my sense of stability—I could have sat in that loss, waiting for clarity about what to do next. But instead, I started experimenting. I jumped into photography in a way I never had before, not just as a passion but as a way to move forward. I tried new styles, worked with different people, and let it shape me instead of waiting to feel like I had it all figured out. And, it hasn’t stopped, I am constantly experimenting, pivoting, and I think I always will. It keeps things fresh ; )

Even something like my surfing has played into this. I used to stick to what I knew, riding the same types of boards, staying in my comfort zone. But lately, I’ve been pushing myself—trying different boards, experimenting with new styles, letting myself be a beginner again. And there’s something really humbling about that, about letting go of the need to be great at something and just enjoying the process.

I think that’s what this all comes down to. Instead of searching for some “real” version of myself, I’m letting go of the idea that there’s only one right way to be. I’m figuring things out as I go, making choices, and allowing myself to change. Some things will stick, and some won’t, but at least I’ll know I tried.

And honestly? That feels a lot more like me.

Thank you for reading : )